Encouraging Others to Grow
[The following was delivered at a CGL Summit on June 23, 2019].
The Apostle Paul’s Strategy
Our two goals for this Summit are to increase clarity about Community Groups and increase their health. When the Apostle Paul spoke of his ministry, he spoke of loving and maturing others, and these two motivations go together. To genuinely love someone is to want their best, to want them to grow and mature in Christ. In Colossians, Paul describes his aim as “teaching and warning everyone with all wisdom, that we may present them mature in Christ.” As Paul sought to fulfill his mission, he wages war on two different levels, the air and the ground.
Air War
Air war can be seen in public gatherings. Paul taught in the synagogues and preached to large crowds. As a church we wage this kind of war every Sunday. The pastors each week wage air war by teaching and warning us each Sunday. The air war is important, both Jesus and Paul participated in it.
Ground War
But there is another level of battle. There is a battle in the trenches, on the ground, in the midst of relationships. This is the level where the gospel meets our lives and presses into them with the help of others. The ground war does two main things:
It multiples the fruit of the air war
Teaching needs to be applied to our lives. Sermons are like sparks that need to be fanned into flames that multiple their effect. Sparks often die out without tending.
It ultimately wins the war
You never win a territory by simply flying over it. You must be present, on the ground, in the trenches. Jesus was in the trenches. As he came to earth, to save every tribe, tongue, people and nation, he came primarily to 12 men. And within those 12, he focused on three. To save the world Jesus, Paul, and we need to be in the trenches.
Partners in the Gospel
Therefore, there is an important partnership in the gospel between the air war of the pastors and the ground war of the Community Group Leaders. This partnership is real and more than words. You water the planted seeds, you fan into the flame the thrown sparks, and you teach and warn through Community Group, Life Group, and one-on one meetings.
To be clear, what is the battle? For us all to believe and be mature in Christ.
And what helps people to grow? Having intentional, maturing conversations with them.
One way to help others grow is to lean-in relationally with them. There are several examples in the Bible of this, but maybe the clearest is Jesus with the rich young man. Because Jesus loved him, he tells him to go and sell all he has. Jesus is not trying to be harsh, he is loving him here. Jesus is living out Proverbs 27:6, which says, “faithful are the wounds of a friend, profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” A loving word might be a wounding word. Someone in your group might just need an invitation to be more involved or an encouragement to keep going. But others might need a word of exhortation that will sting a little bit. Sharpening comes through work, and doesn’t always feel the best. But we can love one another by having the courage to lean in and say the hard thing.
How to say the hard thing
Knowing this is oversimplified, here are seven things to consider when you lean-in relationally with others:
Be at peace - if you’re frustrated with them you are not ready to help them
Have clear conviction about what you are calling them to
Just be honest
Ask them to consider your thoughts and give them time to do so
Don’t assume you are right
Pray and ask the Lord to work
Be at peace with the result
Trees with deep roots
Wisdom is needed and much grace, but bottom line I want us to lean in relationally. We want our members to have deep roots and be trees that can weather storms, and give shade to others. We want their faith and ours to have substance, for when trials and temptations come. Let us love one another in this way, for faithful are the wounds of a friend.