What Kind of Forgiveness?
In Acts 7:60, as Stephen was being stoned, we read:
And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”
It was an astonishing moment, reminiscent of Jesus’s own words from the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
Stephen says it right before he takes his final breath, after his sweeping sermon on the Old Testament’s witness to Christ, after he called the high priest and his boys “stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears,” after they were enraged enough to kill him.
Stephen’s last words reveal his Christlike heart, but they also raise an important question: What kind of forgiveness is this?
Because in Scripture we see that God never just forgives people. That’s not how it works.
Forgiveness is conditional. God forgives those who want forgiveness, which they express through repentance.
What, then, do Stephen’s (and Jesus’s) words teach us?
They point to two different types of forgiveness.
Internal Forgiveness
One kind can be called “internal forgiveness.” It’s also been called “attitudinal forgiveness” (Keller) or a “forgiving spirit” (Brauns).
To put it technically, internal forgiveness refers to a victim's feelings and attitudes toward the perpetrator. It is to cease feeling angry or resentful over the transgression.
It’s what both Stephen and Jesus model for us: a refusal to seek revenge, to repay evil for evil, or to nurture bitterness and hatred. It is something that happens in the heart of the victim regardless of what the perpetrator does.
Interpersonal Forgiveness
The second kind of forgiveness is “interpersonal forgiveness.” It’s also called “transactional forgiveness” (Keller) or the “act of forgiveness” (Brauns).
This is forgiveness as a social action that happens between people. It is a step in returning the relationship to the condition it was before the transgression. It involves reconciliation, renewed trust, and the reestablishment of peace. Obviously, this kind of forgiveness requires participation by both sides, and it’s impossible without the perpetrator’s repentance.
Putting the two kinds together, internal forgiveness should characterize the Christian’s heart as it did for Stephen, literally in the example of Christ. It is the heart’s readiness to forgive interpersonally, but interpersonal forgiveness is a social reality contingent upon the perpetrator’s repentance.
In Our Situation
In recent months, maybe you’ve heard well-meaning people say we should “just forgive and move on” when it comes to the agitators and ongoing hecklers who oppose us. The instinct is understandable, but it’s more complex than that.
Yes, we must guard our hearts. We indeed seek to be Christlike, refusing to harbor inward malice or bitterness. This is a longing to extend interpersonal forgiveness to our enemies, praying like Stephen, and asking God to grant them repentance. But attempting to extend interpersonal forgiveness without their repentance is impossible, and it defies justice.
Like our Lord, we forgive them within our hearts, for now. And we stand ready to forgive interpersonally should the repentance come.
God is a miracle-worker.
Bibliography
“Should We Forgive Apart from Repentance?” — Matt Ferguson
Distinguishes between a posture of readiness to forgive and the actual granting of forgiveness, arguing that full forgiveness is conditioned on repentance.
Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? — Timothy Keller
Presents a pastoral theology of forgiveness rooted in the gospel, showing how God’s forgiveness in Christ shapes both our hearts and relationships.
Unpacking Forgiveness — Chris Brauns
Offers a biblically careful definition of forgiveness, arguing that our forgiveness should mirror God’s forgiveness.
Wounds Not Healed by Time: The Power of Repentance and Forgiveness — Solomon Schimmel
Explores the moral and emotional dimensions of wrongdoing, arguing that true healing requires repentance and accountability, not merely the passage of time.
